i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
