Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
