I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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