Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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