I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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