Are we in a gay sports bar?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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