I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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