he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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