I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
