Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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