haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
