I wish i was in the wii world.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
