Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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