i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
