I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
