When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
