I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
