Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
