Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
