eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
