I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
