youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
