I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
