yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
