you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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