Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
