VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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