Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
