So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
