i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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