The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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