Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There r osticjed everywhere
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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