so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
