That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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