dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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