I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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