so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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