Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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