It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
