I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
