Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
