Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
