be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
