went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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