My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
