i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
