I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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