Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
