I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
