other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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