my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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