He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
