the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
